Things to do before I die

1. Spear Tackle a mascot
   
2. Start a high-speed Police chase for absolutely no reason
   
3. Kill a bear with nothing but my hands
   
4. After completing #3 tell everyone I have Bear hands
   
5. Eat the Super Monster Burrito at FreeBirds (without spitting the last bite into a bag)
   
6. Go hunting with a sword
   
7. Climb to the top of a redwood tree
   
8. Meet the President, and ask what kind of deodorant he uses
   
9. Fight a Kangaroo
   
10. Bite a shark, or an alligator (to see how he likes to be on the receiving end)
    
11. Beat Michael Phelps in a game of checkers and make him call me “The Champ”
    
12. Confuse a Philosopher
    
13. Ride a moose through the streets of a busy city
    
14. Joust a mounted Police officer from my moose
    
15. Start a foot chase from the cops in a mascot suit, and escape
    
16. Learn karate so the kids at school will stop picking on me
    
17. Go “cow tipping” but with water buffalo
    
18. Pick a fight with a bull
    
19. Grow a mustache that extends 18 inches past my face on both sides, and a beard that reaches my belly button
    
20. Hunt the elusive gopher
    
21. Choke a snake
    
22. Rob a bank when I’m 75 with my walker
    
23. Go fishing with potassium
    
24. Build one of those 1 person kit airplanes, land on an Air force base, without asking
    
25. Wrestle a gorilla